Remember those crazy Detroit Free Press ads Enbridge ran back in late October? We miss them. We had quite a bit of fun slicing and dicing them. It was pretty easy pickin’s, too. First, they tried to seduce us by featuring an Enbridge employee who only served to remind us of the Marshall debacle. Then they tried to convince us that Enbridge land agents are a kind, friendly, neighborly lot who just want what is best for us. Then they gave us an almost poetic image of a pipeline running through the wilderness that can only be described as “pipeline pastoral.”

Then we got sidetracked. Other matters intervened and we never quite got around to the last of these ads. That’s a shame, because the last one is a real piece of work. We’re pleased to return to it now, at long last. First, take a look. Apparently, this camouflage-clad hunter-guy thinks Enbridge is “Respectful, Responsive, and Fair”:

 

 

But that’s not the best part. It turns out that this is no ordinary landowner. No, this is “Dr. Michael Milan, a 24-year Michigan resident” who “has worked extensively with Enbridge over the past three years.” Yes, that’s right, he is a doctor! Evidently, we’re supposed to find this pretty impressive, as if we all recognize that a doctor’s view of Enbridge’s behavior is going to be a lot more credible than all of those unreasonable average-joes. And of course, as an added bonus, Michael Milan is no ordinary doctor; he also exudes a certain authentic Michigan rugged outdoorsiness. Just look at him: he’s wearing a camouflage jacket and a hunting cap and everything!

We don’t know about you, but we find this more than a little insulting. Don’t get us wrong, we’re glad that things have gone smoothly for Michael Milan out there on his “scenic 20 acres,” where he has “received information on pipeline safety and visits from [his] Enbridge land agent” over the course of “five maintenance digs.” We’re also glad to hear that his “land agent stops by regularly just to make sure things are okay.” In fact, we’d like nothing more than for everyone to have such a pleasant experience. And we’ve certainly never denied that plenty of landowners have had perfectly pleasant experiences with Enbridge. But if trotting out this guy, dressing him up like Ted Nugent, and making sure we all know he’s a doctor is somehow supposed to mitigate all the stories of Enbridge’s disrespectfulness, lack of responsiveness, and unfair treatment of landowners– well, that’s just plain offensive.

In fact, for every “Dr. Michael Milan” Enbridge can produce who says Enbridge is “respectful, responsive, and fair,” we could probably produce a landowner whose experience demonstrates precisely the opposite. In fact, we can even produce one who is actually Michael Milan’s neighbor– and we don’t mean a metaphorical Enbridge neighbor either; we mean one who lives in very close proximity to Milan– not to mention one whose Michigan bona fides are at least as impressive as the good doctor’s. Let us introduce you to:

William Aldrich, an electrical engineer for one of the Big 3 automakers and a lifelong Michigan resident:

Since 1981, I have worked to ensure that native trees were allowed to thrive on my property by performing selective pruning and tree removal. I have planted additional native trees not represented and removed many invasive species. Over 30 species of Michigan native trees and shrubs are represented in area designated by Enbridge as Temporary Workspace. I have made it a point of pride to be able to name and protect and enhance the diverse species of plants that reside on my property. I have expended significant time, effort and money to achieve these ends. For months, I attempted to work with Enbridge to minimize the amount of unnecessary damage and return the property to its current mix of diverse native species of plants.

 

In order to minimize the damage to this native flora, I attempted to work with my land agent to provide a Temporary Work Space that would preserve as many trees as possible while giving Enbridge an additional 200 square feet of workspace. I also reached an agreement with my land agent specifying that the stumps of trees that must be removed in the TWS be left in the ground to allow them to resprout. Yet Enbridge ignored my win-win proposal for modifying the TWS, disregarded the agreement not to remove stumps (tearing them out of the ground anyway), and clear cut numerous trees clearly desgnated by my ROW agent as “do not cut,” some mere inches from the Temporary Work Space boundary line.

 

In short, my dealings with the designated Enbridge right-of-way representative have been incomplete, contentious, sporadic, unanswered and in many cases violated.   Enbridge’s own actions consistently contradict the Enbridge right-of-way representative’s assertions and agreements.